Words that are missing from the English language part II

I've noticed that a lot of these thoughts occur to me when I'm in the shower. I don't know what it is about my cleansing ritual, but I suspect that it's the sensation of the warm water and the state of relaxation that it brings that focuses thoughts and opens the mind's eye. It could also be down to just having five minutes where I'm not distracted by anything more taxing than operating a shower brush and so my mind is free to wander. Archimedes' "Eureka" moment was said to have happened in a bath. I think we might be onto something here.

The French have a lovely phrase "l'esprit d'escalier" - which literally translates as "staircase wit". It's a phrase that refers to that belated moment of inspiration that strikes as you wander down the stairs leaving a party - be it coming up with a pithy retort to an insult or a witty reply to a question. The Germans have the same phrase - "Treppenwitz". I think we need a similar phrase in English for the moment of brilliance that takes you as you scrub your back - I suggest "bathroom clarity", but feel free to make alternative suggestions.

Actually, sitting down with a cup of tea has much the same effect on me (and I suspect, most English people) - perhaps "teapot clarity" would be just as appropriate.

Terrorist inefficiency

I was watching the news last night, and there was a video clip of some terrorist group threatening to bomb the Beijing olympics. In the video, there were three people, all of whom were swaddled in some form of head dress that covered their entire faces, leaving a tiny slit through which to see, though you couldn't even really see their eyes. It struck me that if you're going to do that, you might just as well send an audio recording and a photo instead. Much more efficient.

The wisdom of Bacchus

There's a surprising amount of profundity to be found in the incoherent ramblings of drunk people. I just experienced what may just be the apogee of alcohol inspired depth. As I was cycling pretty quickly up a hill in Temple Cowley, a drunk chav took a break from mocking his also rather drunk friend (who'd fallen over on the pavement and was struggling to get back up) to inform me (as I zipped past) "Mate, your wheel's going round". Truly inspired.

Group stupidity

The larger the group of people, the lower the overall effective intelligence. This effect is most evident in seeing a large group attempt to divide a restaurant bill and is largely independent of the group's members' individual intelligences. Linked to this is the fact that the larger the group, the longer it takes to make decisions and the slower the group walks.

Old friends

Friends come and go, but there are some that, no matter how long it has been since you last saw them, it feels like no time has elapsed at all. These people are the friends that are worth hanging on to!

Giving notice

Why is it that the further afield people come from, the less warning they seem to give you? My friends who are in Oxford can give me a two weeks' notice or more that they're going to be free so that we can meet up, but my London friends (Daniel in particular) will typically ring me up and say "I'm in Oxford, are you free?".

Demoralisation

There's absolutely nothing more demoralising than moving. I can honestly say that there is nothing that you tend to have to do that I hate more. Packing is just plain depressing.

Words that are missing from the English language

Coffee and bacon smell much better than they taste. Durian fruit tastes much better than it smells. I feel that we need a word to describe these states. Suggestions on a postcard...

Free food

Sometimes, not even the promise of free pizza is enough to make me want to go to lunch with someone.

A question of politeness

Asking the question "Can I ask you a question?" is inherently rude. Clearly, someone who asks it feels the need to have the other person's permission to ask a question, yet they are doing so anyway.

English speaking foreigners

It's really weird what English words foreign people know. A German friend of mine just amazed me by using the word "psychosomatic". I know plenty of native English people who wouldn't know what that means.

[Edit]Okay, maybe that example is a bad one - there is the same word (psychosomatisch and also psychosomatik - though I confess I don't know the difference in meaning) in German. But my point still stands![/Edit]